THINGS I'VE LEARNT WHILE LIVING IN LONDON.

Saturday 18 July 2015

For anyone who doesn't know, a couple of weeks ago I moved out of London, and I won't be returning to live there until September NEXT YEAR!?!?!?! I only lived there for just under two years, but it really does feel like a home to me. I definitely carried a massive neon TOURIST sign for a few weeks at the start of my stay, but since then I'd like to think I've shaken that image, instead leaving everyone to assume I am a fellow London indigene. I love this city with all my heart and soul, and during my time as an inhabitant I have learnt a few things; some useful, some funny, some weird.


1. Don't travel in rush hour unless completely unavoidable, oh God just DON'T. Respect your bubble of personal space.

2. Always (and I mean ALWAYS) stand on the right of the escalator and let other people pass you on your left.

3. When you get stuck in the Tube door after a dramatic leap inside, don't worry, the doors will open again for you, you'll just look like a bit of an idiot.

4. Nonetheless, when you dramatically leap inside the carriage and the doors close just millimetres behind you, you WILL feel like James Bond, but as a stoic Londoner you must play it cool and not grab the air in Breakfast Club triumph.

5. Connect your 16-25 Railcard to your Oyster, and pay attention to when it runs out, because you will find yourself spending significantly more than you're used to on public transport for a while without realising.

6. When walking across Westminster Bridge you never ever want to be mistaken for a tourist, so in order for you to cement your status as a #true #Londoner you just need to tut a lot, walk really fast and snigger at the people taking super pose-y Big Ben pics (even though you might actually love Big Ben and kind of want a photo with it yourself).

7. At least once a day you'll have an altercation with a pigeon. Sometimes they'll poo on you. Often they'll swoop so low that you genuinely begin to fear for your life, but when they fly away, you must pretend you didn't just duck and squeal really loudly.

8. You will also probably fall in love at least once a day with some of the beautiful specimens who roam the streets. Appreciate the diverse beauty of London humans. (A lot of them wear nice suits.)

9. At some point, someone will ask you for directions, and you will have good intentions but will most likely give them the wrong directions by accident. Don't sweat it, the time will come when you can perfectly direct them to where they want to go, and you will feel accomplished in your good deed of the day.

10. It's completely okay to pay £4+ for a bowl of cereal if it's in a quirky themed café in Shoreditch.

11. Paying £4+ for a single shot and mixer, though? I'm still not quite okay with it.

12. If you love yourself, don't ever go to the Primark at Marble Arch - go to the Tottenham Court Road one instead. It's still pretty big, plus it's newer, tidier and less crowded, and you are exponentially less likely to want to punch someone in the face during your time there.

13. The floating Yodas around Trafalgar Square and Piccadilly Circus are Satan incarnate and should not be allowed to exist.

14. Carry an umbrella with you at all times. Please.

15. Contrary to popular belief, bumping into celebrities on the street is not actually a common thing. Sometimes you see people from Eastenders or a doctor from This Morning though, but they don't really count.

16. However, frequently you will come across a news crew/photoshoot/music video shoot, and occasionally you'll walk into shot without realising. It happens.

17. The city is a lot bigger than you think, made especially noticeable when you go from one end of a Tube line to the other. Top tip: don't do that.

18. Speaking of which, do not be alarmed if, after a day of travelling via Underground a lot, you blow your nose to find the tissue is now black. It's fine, it's totally normal, it's just all the soot and gross stuff. Cute, right?

19. The city has some incredible sunsets, and if you know where to look, you can watch them in view of the entire skyline.

20. There is beauty all around London - in its architecture, in its history, in its dark and dingy tunnels, in its richness, in its ridiculousness, in its art, in its diversity and in its people. Relish it all because you'll miss it when you leave.

I ended on a super cheesy note there but hey, give me a break, I'm leaving to go to a whole new COUNTRY soon, let me be emo about London for a while.

See you next time!

Georgia

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